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Always Give More Than You Expect

Have you ever flipped a coin to settle a dispute or to see who goes first in a game? My brother loved to use a quarter whenever we needed to settle something. He swore that flipping a coin was fair because we each got a 50/50 chance at getting our way since all quarters are the same size and weight. He always chose heads and always seemed to win.

Recently, I looked up the 50/50 coin toss theory. I was reminded about the process of minting coins and how newly minted coins all contain tiny imperfections. Tiny deviations happen during the fabrication process. Now let’s consider the wear and tear coins go through over time. They pick up scratches, dings, dents, germs and oils from human hands. Surely these imperfections can affect the physics of the coin flip? Yet we continue to think of 50/50 as fair. We even expect our relationships to be 50/50.

Our daughter just got married a few weeks ago. After my husband greeted our guests, he turned to our daughter and new son in law and shared some fatherly advice. He shared the same advice a friend gave us when we got married. Marriage is not 50/50. Sometimes it’s 60/40 or 80/20 and sometimes its even 100/0 depending on the circumstances. Then he said, always give more than you expect.

Now let’s think back to those imperfections in the coins. There are times in our life that we pick up scratches, dings, dents and other imperfections and we are not able to give at the same level that is expected of us. This is why relationships especially marriage are not 50/50. Life isn't fair. So why on earth would we expect our relationships to be 50/50 down the middle and call it fair. Just like the advice we received and shared with our daughter, always give more than you expect in return. When you do, blessings follow.

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